很多人都認為廣告創意人一定幽默風趣，字字珠璣，殊不知創意人個個都要在客戶／老闆／其他非創意部門同事的腳下頂禮膜拜，他們才是真正妙語如珠的那群，隨便一句話就可以讓我等笑到肚子悶痛眼淚蜿蜒，在下遠遠不及，甘拜下風。

最近幾個月以來看過最好笑的網站 AdVerbatims，活生生的業界血淚文摘。如同該站所說，these things happen almost every day; sometimes we don’t even notice them. But they’re here to stay. They are verbatims. And yes, they’re REAL.

摘錄幾段讓我笑得特別大聲的：

#349- “I will contact the artist, what is his name?” - “Vincent Van Gogh” - “Ok, I will call him and get his approval.”
(Agency, Account Executive to Art Director on being told that ´Sunflowers´ cannot be used in the layout because of copyright issues)

#341- “It’s simple really: I want you to come up with something that’s never been done before; something that touches hearts and minds all around the world. Oh, and I need it by 11 tomorrow morning.”
(Agency, Marketing Director to Creative Team)

#335- “What do you mean this is a four color job? I don’t want four colors, we are paying for all of the colors and by God I want all of the colors.”
(Client, Marketing Manager to agency Art Director)

#304- “When someone’s wife dies, you have to accept that the timeline might slip slightly.”
(Agency Director to Client)

#303- “Of course you want it for yesterday! If you want it for today, you should order it TOMORROW!!!”
(Agency, Anonymous)

#302- “Could you possibly give us a design for the business card that’s more like the one our CEO designed in PowerPoint?”
(Client, Marketing Director to Designer)

#299- “Could you move our logo to the top of the poster? I mean… What if someone is standing in front of it?
(Client to Creative Director)

#289- “We need you to resize the Portuguese and Spanish versions.” - “I don’t think I ever did a Spanish version. I mean, I remember doing one in Mexican…”
(Agency, Art Director talking to a Retoucher)

#280- “Could you please make the thought bubbles in this ad more realistic?”
(Client to Designer)

#265-”In a perfect world, if there was no Christmas, when could we launch?”
(Client to Creative Director complaining about the production schedule because time set aside for the holidays and agency/office closures conflicted with their desired in-market date)

#263- “I’m not an Art Director! I can’t fold paper!”
(Client, PR Consultant while looking at a brochure layout he downloaded from an ftp site in pdf files)

晚點要寫信去貢獻一篇創意總監要我把黑人 photoshop 成白人的事蹟。